"Should I hate him, darlin'?"

“Tombstone” is one of my favorite Western movies. Val Kilmer stole the movie from Kurt Russell, and that’s hard to do. Of course, I’m from Georgia, and have a special affection for John Henry “Doc” Holliday. I overlooked Kilmer’s faux Georgia accent, and even his turn as Jim Morrison didn’t equal the energy he put into the Georgia dentist/gunfighter.

I bring this up because I thought of a fictional scene from the movie. There are a number of accurate historical recreations in George Cosmatos’s film, but I don’t think Doc Holliday ever squared off at Johnny Ringo the way Kilmer and Michael Biehn did in the film.

Nevertheless, the recent flap about Alec Baldwin put me in mind of the scene. Backing away slightly from Ringo, Doc asks “Big Nose” Kate Elder “Should I hate him?”

Kate replies: “You don’t even know him.”

That never stopped Doc. Confronted by a wounded Tom McLaury at the OK Corral, McLaury in fact said “I’ve got you now, you SOB.”

Holliday in fact replied in front of witnesses “You’re a daisy if you do.” He then killed the hapless McLaury.

I raised two girls. They drove me to distraction. One tried to shoot me when I grounded her for lying to her mom and me. Fortunately, it’s her sister that can shoot, and despite leaping a five-foot chain link fence and three strands of barbed wire, I escaped unscathed. When the firearms come out, I tend to beat feet. No hero here...

I think I’d have to Jap-slap Alec Baldwin for what he said to his daughter. Kim Basinger is not without blame in this mess, but you simply don’t unload on a kid like that. I suffer the peculiarity of getting quieter and quieter as my temper slips; by the time I am totally silent, you don’t want to be in the same voting precinct. Only one of them Baldwin guys is worth his salt, and that’s the born-again guy. (William? Daniel? I can’t keep ‘em straight.)

It was all group hugs when mama retrieved her pistol and had it safely back in her purse. My kidlet didn’t mean to shoot me in the back. She missed.

I didn’t yell, or do anything untoward. It’s my kid, and I’ll drive to Colorado in a heartbeat if she’s in trouble. I rather liked her spirit. I wish I could talk her into some range time, but it’s the younger one who appreciates the pistol I bought for her birthday.

I hear Alec Baldwin is a nasty actor. I’ve been through ugly divorce. Nothing excuses him.

“Excuse me, darlin’. I think I hate him.”