Thursday, January 04, 2007

Just enjoying the holidays, thank you!

Terrible computer problems have kept me offline for several days. I have also been a victim of post-holiday ignorance, apathy, and indifference: “I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t matter anyhow.”

I am grateful to those who instantly fired off e-mails taking me to task with a [their] perceived suggestion that I meant to quit UPI. I never meant to suggest such a thing! I was simply looking for a rhetorical sign-off so I could take a break over the New Year’s holiday. On one hand, Nan Pelosi makes me want to hide under the nearest rock, and on the other hand, I can’t wait for the coming to fruition of the liberal dream.

Quitting now would be a betrayal of the wealth of comedic material that powers Rush Limbaugh’s EIB empire. Gosh, one of them big-time magazines says us little bloggers is “People of the Year”. What a cop-out! “I” is now is the biggest thing in history! What a hoot, and a corruption of an idea!

Time magazine once named Adolph Hitler as “Man of the Year”. On behalf of the world-wide staff of United Possums International, we’re certainly honored to be included in such esteemed company. We also decline the honor. Thanks, but no thanks. Speaking one’s mind is an inherent right, not a subject for a year-end magazine article.

Taking a shotgun approach to current events, I am greatly affected by the yin-yang cosmic balance of recent days.

I woke one morning with a sense that the world was a cleaner place. Out of touch with the news, I lit up the satellite and heard Saddam Hussein had taken his third swing, this time at the end of a rope. Good riddance to bad rubbish; we may get into the politics of his taking a swing, but I really don’t care. There are people who deserve to die, and when they reach that point, they are road apples on the path of life. I don’t care about the circumstances that led him to that final point, and I most certainly don’t care about his defenders at the New York Times.

I take the simple, legally-defensible-in-Georgia attitude: “He needed killing.”

The death of Gerald Ford supplies balance. Like many other Chevy-Chase-fueled children of the ‘70s, I thought the man was a clown and an oaf. He was neither.

Gerald Ford was a patriot, and I don’t care about the contrived controversy of the Nixon pardon. Ford was a simple man, which endeared him to my [at the time] liberal self. He provided me with a transition between Tricky Dick Nixon and the future of the White House. Who can forget "Whip Inflation Now"? Let's "WIN!"

Being a simple man, I like kindred spirits. Gerald Ford was one of those. I have a question mark about what he learned on the Warren Commission into the JFK assassination. I’ll let that go; it’s a secret for my children to unravel.

I am genuinely grieved to see President Ford go. It is the end of a political era. He pardoned a scoundrel, but Nixon was a grand scoundrel, and would not have destroyed America. Perhaps, recognizing this, President Ford Pardoned the man we loved to hate. We no longer have grand scoundrels; we have little mongrels like the incoming Speaker of the House.

I once offered to hold a dog for a woman who sought to enter a public building while leaving the critter locked up in a van. I was smoking a cigarette outside the public building, and will not tolerate animals left inside cars and trucks while their owners seek personal gratifications within.

I have a bad habit of breaking vehicle windows to make sure dogs are breathing, drinking water, and otherwise all right. Notes to owners and insurance agents read: “Bystanders think I am leaving my phone number under your windshield…they are wrong.”

While assured that the dog was peaceful, this lady’s creature urinated on me, defecated on me, and bit my hand to the point of drawing blood. Little dogs behave that way.

Looking back, I consider that dog a metaphor for Islam. The owner kept crying “she doesn’t bite!” I was bloody and struggling to control the critter, all because I’d sought to do a good deed.

No dogs were harmed in the formation of this analogy.

My homeboy, Jimmy “Mr. Peanut” Carter, swung into office on a promise of bi-partisanship, balances of power, and a “healing” of the nation. He promised great ethical reform. He then proceeded to do more damage than external aliens until 2001. As a fellow Georgian, I can do nothing but hang my head and mutter.

Having lost the mid-terms—although no one took me up on my standard $100 bet—I have a new one: an office pool-type thing.

My birthday is 11 February [hold the cards, please!]. I made a private wager today, and I’ll take it public, with permission. Despite Dem rhetoric of bipartisanship, before my birthday of 11 Feb 2007, some Democrat will introduce articles of impeachment against the President of the United States. That’s the bet. One sitting Congressperson has already done so. I win, off the jump. The deck's stacked. Any takers for this wager?

Queen Pelosi says this is off the table; I have another vision for the coming view of America. A friend gave me some jive for America moving forward; "let’s not get mired in some prehistoric vision of nuclear disaster."

I don’t believe a word Dems say. This is a party mired in hatred of the “stolen elections”, and the prospect of power will have them wetting their pants faster than crack cocaine offered to a six-year-old. They have no solutions, so they will claim to atone for past “ethical” sins by seeking imaginative legislative and civil sins in their imaginary "Kumbayah"world.

If a simple man, and someone as graceful as Gerald Ford stood for president today, I would have no hesitation in my voting. I am on record as supporting Joe Lieberman, a Democrat, and, my shameful vote for Carter. Nevertheless, I am a conservative libertarian. You have to decipher what that sort of assertion means. I suggest starting with Ayn Rand and thinking.

Acting upon personal knowledge is a challenge, but one my faithful readers can achieve. All you have to do is challenge lifetime beliefs.

President Ford will be greatly missed. In what was misapplied as his bumbling ways, he healed my country in the wake of a grand scoundrel. Joni Mitchell said it best: “You never know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone.”

We will miss Gerald Ford, our former president. Given a year or so for his Ba’athist children to stop squalling, no one will miss Saddam. Dead is gone in the religion of the sword.

Saddam no longer counts. Gerald Ford counted for everything. History judges all. Gerald Ford wins. Saddam Hussein loses.

5 Comments:

Blogger camojack said...

Since I'm finally getting caught up myself, having gone away for Christmas Week, I guess I've missed your recent posts...but they're next.

Regarding this one, Ford meant well, while Saddam was all about himself. One died honorably, the other ignominiously. I hope the latter demise will serve the purpose of improving things in Iraq...

January 04, 2007 10:24 AM  
Blogger Nylecoj said...

Another great one Possum.
As many of the others I have been reading along at all the community blogs and not commenting much due to the hustle and bustle but I am with you in spirit if not print.

January 04, 2007 4:44 PM  
Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I'm with ya Possum. Gerald Ford - good. Saddam Hussein - bad. San Fran Nan - pathetic.

I'll admit it... I was disappointed when Ford pardoned Nixon. At the time I felt that Nixon NEEDED to be punished. I felt like I was robbed of the satisfaction of seeing Nixon pay.

But looking back at it now, I realize that Gerry Ford had more respect for the "Office of the President", that is, the Presidency itself, than he did for my need of vengeance. And that was probably a wise move on his part.

I too will admit that I voted for Jimmah Cahtah. I was raised in a liberal Democratic family, so perhaps I can be pardoned for that. But in reality, I voted for him not because he was a lib, but because he claimed to be an evangelical Christian. I was not disappointed when he brokered a peace agreement between Israel and Egypt... and that was about the only time I wasn't disappointed.

I became a Reagan Republican and a conservative, and never looked back.

As far as Bela Pelosi... "she speak with forked tongue". She says the Dems will work in a bipartisan manner with the GOP, yet she also says the GOP will have no say during the first 100-hour legislative blitz. Whaazzzuupp wid dat?

(:D) Best Regards...

January 04, 2007 9:50 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

"Going along to get along" was the downfall of GHW Bush [41].

The country is in dire danger, and my Yahoo home page featured a story about Pelosi taking her oath of office.

I explained the other day that the reason we raise our right hands when we swear an oath is that English common law provided for branding on the palm of that hand; thus a "T" for thief would be displayed for the court in Ye Olde Days.

I think we should re-introduce the practice, with special emphasis on "L", for "liar", "lawyer", and "loser". When those incoming office-holders raise their hands, the world should know what they are.

January 04, 2007 10:36 PM  
Blogger Beerme said...

As fine a eulogy for Gerald Ford as I've read. Nice job!

January 05, 2007 6:19 PM  

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