Size does matter!

Richard Thompson is five feet, one inch tall, and weighs about 120 pounds. I am six feet, three inches tall, and weigh 185 pounds at fighting weight. Even though I joke about being four feet tall in my wheelchair—a line I shamelessly steal from Jude Law in “Gattica”—I’m ready for a fight.

Richie Thompson is a sexual predator; a pedophile. I have two daughters; both are thankfully grown up in this age of the ACLU sticking up for baby rapers. Things were a lot simpler in Ye Olde Days; “He needed killin’” is sometimes a legal defense where I come from.

A Nebraska judge refuses to sentence Mr. Thompson to the prison term he has earned. In addition to being vertically challenged, Thompson is apparently not the sharpest knife in the drawer. The judge is on record as remarking “I think you’d have a hard time in prison.” For this all-encompassing reason, the judge has sentenced Richard Thompson to probation, with the explicit threat that a violation of said probation will earn him 60 days in the slammer. In other words, if he molests another child, he’ll spend less time behind bars than your average DUI offender.

Driving while stupid [intoxicated] is one thing. Molesting children is a whole ‘nother six-pack of possums. I have some acquaintance with lock-ups, thanks to my youthful predilection for mixing alcohol and fast automobiles. No one has an “easy” time behind bars, as opposed to the “hard” time the judge used as an excuse to shuffle Thompson out of the system.

Judges are loath to sentence child molesters to serious time. There’s a simple reason for this: even bank robbers have families. Unless they are genuine sociopaths, most convicts have wives, children, or some variation thereof wandering around out there. While socially challenged about how to provide for their children, many convicts, the majority, have kidlets, and love them in their own ways as parents. Judges understand that the life span for pedophiles, if released into general population, is measured in days, if not hours. If they are not killed outright, the best a “short eyes” can hope for is a serious smack-down from another convict whenever the staff isn’t looking.

Sometimes the staff will make an effort to not be looking. They, too, have children. Because this reality fits the free-floating criterion of “cruel and unusual punishment”, judges have made a semi-tradition of giving baby rapers a slap on the wrist and a stern admonition to “don’t do that again!"

Bank robbers, and even murderers can be reformed. In the case of the former, many were acting out of need. In the case of the latter, many were acting out of momentary passion. Given proper direction, both are decent parole risks, and unlikely to become part of the 66% recidivism rate. There are exceptions, of course. That’s where your tax dollars come in, to pay the salaries of prison counselors, et. al. to make the differentiation … and I’ve been hearing some creepy stuff today about a jailhouse counselor keeping her grandchild locked in a dog kennel.

Statistically, sexual predators cannot be as easily reformed. They are having too much fun. Whatever demons grip them, they cannot acknowledge the humanity of children, and control their impulses. They need to be set apart from the rest of humanity, to put it kindly. Pavlov was right about his dogs; if you reward behavior, it will be repeated.

I suspect the lenient sentences imposed for so long has fed into a syndrome. For a long time, if I had a couple of beers and drove home with the smell on my breath, I might get a nod and a wink from the good ol’ boy deputies if I wasn’t crashing into the landscaping. That doesn't play today. Looking back, I cannot justify my behavior, and I thank God I didn’t hurt anyone. I’m not a Kennedy; if I had killed someone in 1969 because I was drunk, horny, and too cowardly to dive in and save another person’s life, I’d still be in prison. JFK did better, despite the intial mistake of shutting his speedboat down in enemy territory.

Because pedophiles are apt to get their butts killed in prison, judges give them a pass. Numerous passes. Granted, 25 to life isn’t a death sentence. A desert island will suffice for pedophiles. “He/she will be all right with counseling.” “”Diversion will do the trick.” Let's try the liberal solutions, but let's do it in an isolated environment.

At one point, a pill was suggested. “Chemical castration.” The pill was supposed to make sexual predators impotent, as though their problem is related to an overabundance of testosterone.

While waiting for the bail bondsman, and in my capacity during a day job, I had some interesting conversations with cellmates. One particularly battered individual, when asked “What happened?” replied “They found out.”

Somebody had beaten the s--- out of him.

“Found out” what?

The person I am using as an example peddled child pornography from a Costa Nostra fronted porn outlet. He was not a producer; he may have only featured underage peep shows in his yellow-front bookstore. He may not have ever touched a child in his life. He sold product; the porn industry, like the legitimate parts of the movie industry I dabbled in, needs product, no matter how shabby. I won’t make an excuse for this sorry specimen; he had a market share of a fringe industry. Although I am a Libertarian, acknowledging most human foibles, there is plenty that doesn’t pass my loose standards. What I saw was a guy beaten senseless and bloody.

It didn’t matter then; it doesn’t matter now. Although I yell that the concept of “perception is reality” is nonsense, if you live and die by the law of the jungle, that doesn’t matter much. A conviction for child molestation will get you a de facto death sentence.

On this same day, I hear that an Ohio judge has overturned the death sentence of a Terry What’s-' is-name. The malefactor in question was given a death sentence for stomping and strangling the life out of a 76-year-old woman. The judge says an "abusive childhood" trumps blood thirst, and mitigates a scumbag into $50,000+ per year government [taxpayer!] care.

My father was 79 when he was shot to death by an as-yet-uncaught serial killer who specializes in victimizing “rich” older white guys. My consideration for murderers goes a few inches shorter than the height of any given killer. The death penalty is a viable option. I ain't a mob-joiner, but I have been heard to chant "Get a rope!"

The standard song and dance by defense attorneys pimping everything from substance abuse to an abusive childhood is a cliché; it’s almost an American courtroom tradition. I am truly amazed that the ploy worked for yet another murderer.

The Nebraska pedophile is “too short” for prison. The Ohio killer is deemed excusable from the death penalty, ostensibly because he had an abusive childhood that trumps the horror of a vicious murder.

A dwarf could have pulled the trigger on my father. Anyone who has seen the movie “Time Bandits”, or known the grit of real “little people”, can tell you volumes about this. Despite a non-abusive, middle-class upbringing, my childhood was no picnic. The proliferation of liberal myths I hear about dysfunctional families only seems to increase that conviction that there are no criminals; only misguided individuals.

My ban on obscenity kicks in here. It’s bullshit. Hell, that’s a PG-13 standard; whatever excuses are being deployed today to relinquish child molesters or give murderers a pass because they had a tough childhood; it’s bullshit. Lawyers say what you or I pay them to say. The gangland moniker of “mouthpiece” is a fact. “The Outlaw Josey Wales” has a classic line among many: “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining’” My blog; I make the rules, and break them. Sometimes there isn’t a suitable adjective.

I am four feet tall now, and spend what’s left of my life in a wheelchair. Nevertheless, if I committed an offense against children, I would find myself paddling my wheelchair around in the august company of bank robbers and murderers. At least, that’s the “kinder solution.” I always used my height as a psychological factor, moving inside the “comfort zones” of others and looking down upon them. Short people, like Avis car rental, have to try harder. Despite the judge’s perception, short people are quite vicious, and can do quite well in prison. Randy Newman’s song “Short People” was a hoot, but totally fallacious when it comes to the serious business of judicial penalties for child molesters. The ex-Mrs. Trot is wearing her Val Plame disguise. She is four feet, eleven inches tall. This is the one time in life when size doesn’t matter.