Marry me, Ann Coulter!
Although it might be indicative of a mental disorder, there are few things in life as viscerally satisfying as reducing technology gone awry to little plastic splinters. This was the fate of an uncooperative computer mouse over the weekend.
It’s regarded as socially unacceptable to trash things these days. It’s not something we encourage our children to do. The one exception to this is Democrats trashing those who disagree with them, but even that is carried out under the aegis of civilized social discourse, and is a subject for another day.
Sitting at one’s desk, pounding an inanimate object to pulp, is regarded as certifiably insane behavior. Forget the admixture of frustrations with people like the ACLU and the banal idiots who turned up at Donald Rumsfeld’s front door. I don’t much care for John McCain, but the man is a genuine American hero. He should not have been heckled while giving a commencement speech to the ungrateful, clueless vermin graduating from “The New School.” Condoleeza Rice is the Secretary of State, and should be accorded the dignity and respect of that office at Boston College. The current generation of vipers might think it’s “cool” that a slimeball like Henry Rollins says he’d vote for Dr. Rice because he’d “like to see a lesbian, black president”; I’m not getting the joke, and my mouse pays the price.
So, a computer mouse got smashed. This obviously put HAL-9000 out of service for the balance of the weekend. Sheepish, penitent phone calls produced promises of quick delivery of a replacement, but it wasn’t going happen on a Sunday. The best alternative was to settle in with a couple of Ann Coulter books: Slander…Liberal Lies About the American Right; and How to Talk to a Liberal…If You Must.
The cheap thrill of thoughtlessly trashing computer components was quickly replaced by admiration for the acuity of Ms. Coulter’s observations. I want to marry Ann Coulter! Not so much because she’s a strikingly good-looking woman, but more so for the conversations that might ensue at The Possum Den. I realize pursuit of this notion makes me as looney as Dan Brown on LSD, but I’d risk a third trip to the altar for a chance to converse with this brilliant woman. Ms. Coulter is way too hip and urbane for an unsophisticated redneck from the backwoods of Deliverance country, but my admiration for her lack of patience with the loons of The Left knows no bounds. Looking up from every other paragraph in her books, I found myself muttering “Gee! I wish I’d said that!” or just nodding in silent agreement.
Ayn Rand codified the principles of Libertarianism. Ann Coulter has done the same for the principles of conservatism. Just as Rand explained there is nothing to be ashamed of in acknowledging the existence of the ego, Coulter removes all sheepishness from conservatism.
Seems like we need intelligent women to explain things to us.
Ironically, and apropos of nothing at all, Ayn Rand was a chain-smoker, and I recall reading somewhere that Ms. Coulter shares this affinity for tobacco. You just gotta love a tough-talking, light ‘em up, in-your-face woman, especially when they can shade you at least 100 points on the IQ scale.
Marry me, Miss Ann! I promise not to murder any more computer mice!
It’s regarded as socially unacceptable to trash things these days. It’s not something we encourage our children to do. The one exception to this is Democrats trashing those who disagree with them, but even that is carried out under the aegis of civilized social discourse, and is a subject for another day.
Sitting at one’s desk, pounding an inanimate object to pulp, is regarded as certifiably insane behavior. Forget the admixture of frustrations with people like the ACLU and the banal idiots who turned up at Donald Rumsfeld’s front door. I don’t much care for John McCain, but the man is a genuine American hero. He should not have been heckled while giving a commencement speech to the ungrateful, clueless vermin graduating from “The New School.” Condoleeza Rice is the Secretary of State, and should be accorded the dignity and respect of that office at Boston College. The current generation of vipers might think it’s “cool” that a slimeball like Henry Rollins says he’d vote for Dr. Rice because he’d “like to see a lesbian, black president”; I’m not getting the joke, and my mouse pays the price.
So, a computer mouse got smashed. This obviously put HAL-9000 out of service for the balance of the weekend. Sheepish, penitent phone calls produced promises of quick delivery of a replacement, but it wasn’t going happen on a Sunday. The best alternative was to settle in with a couple of Ann Coulter books: Slander…Liberal Lies About the American Right; and How to Talk to a Liberal…If You Must.
The cheap thrill of thoughtlessly trashing computer components was quickly replaced by admiration for the acuity of Ms. Coulter’s observations. I want to marry Ann Coulter! Not so much because she’s a strikingly good-looking woman, but more so for the conversations that might ensue at The Possum Den. I realize pursuit of this notion makes me as looney as Dan Brown on LSD, but I’d risk a third trip to the altar for a chance to converse with this brilliant woman. Ms. Coulter is way too hip and urbane for an unsophisticated redneck from the backwoods of Deliverance country, but my admiration for her lack of patience with the loons of The Left knows no bounds. Looking up from every other paragraph in her books, I found myself muttering “Gee! I wish I’d said that!” or just nodding in silent agreement.
Ayn Rand codified the principles of Libertarianism. Ann Coulter has done the same for the principles of conservatism. Just as Rand explained there is nothing to be ashamed of in acknowledging the existence of the ego, Coulter removes all sheepishness from conservatism.
Seems like we need intelligent women to explain things to us.
Ironically, and apropos of nothing at all, Ayn Rand was a chain-smoker, and I recall reading somewhere that Ms. Coulter shares this affinity for tobacco. You just gotta love a tough-talking, light ‘em up, in-your-face woman, especially when they can shade you at least 100 points on the IQ scale.
Marry me, Miss Ann! I promise not to murder any more computer mice!
posted by Robert at 9:26 AM
7 Comments:
I can see no way that a woman can turn down a proposal like that.
I thnk Ann Coulter should be President of the USA.
Possum I am going to notify PETPLA. They are People for the Ethical Treatment of PLastic Animals.
I hope at the very least, you gathered up the little scraps of Plastic and held a small memorial service. He/She(I didn't see the bottom)gave you good and faithful service.
My mouse is a female.
Hoping your next mouse is a Mighty Mouse! And best of luck in your endeavors to share it with a Mighy Woman... Ann Coulter, Conservative Warrior!
P.S.-- I know the feeling. I wish I'd said some of those things too!
So, possums hate meeses to pieces too?
As for our Miss Ann (Thrope) Coulter, she's easy on the eyes, and hard on the opposition (Party). I also think she'd be HELL to live with...
"Seems like we need intellegent women to explain things to us."
Well, DUH! ;o)
Good thing you took out your frustrations on the mouse; they're a lot cheaper to replace than harddrives.
As marge points out, if you had to murder any component at least you chose an inexpensive one.
Have you heard from Ann yet?
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