For you fans of large V-8 engines...

I love a loud, noisy engine. There are few things as satisfying in life as an unleashed V-8. I had a '63 Chevy convertible with a 327 and a leaky roof.

I have a friend who sends me e-mails about million-dollar sports cars. They're fun to watch, but if I had one, I don't know what I'd do with it, besides serving life in prison. Some jerk would slam a door into the side, and I'd be obliged to beat him to death with the tire tool. This kind of behavior does not go over well, even in the land of gigantic carbon footprints.

When I grew up, so to speak, I bought a Corvette. This was an extremely fast car. Looking back, I can brag now that I once took a ticket for 120 in a 55 zone...and I was just cruising. Imagine if I'd had the hammer down on those 400 horses...

(The front tag, by the way, says "Welcome to Georgia. Now go home". I still have the tag on the front of my rusty old Chevy van that has to be jumped off by a neighbor every so often.)

I am classified by the State Patrol as a "habitual violator". I never went faster than conditions allowed, and never on a crowded highway. I saw a Corvette get hit by a dump truck in Houston. The thing came completely apart. The driver was killed. I never forgot the sight of that car spewing out across the intersection.

My ex-wife hated that car. She called it "The Batmobile" in a most derogatory tone. Nevertheless, she strapped it on one day and busted 100 on an open highway.

350 cubic inches of V-8. 400 horsepower. The monster sucked gas like a vampire. I have another picture of it, but the Google™ monster apparently only allows one photo at a time unless I'm Al Gore scamming for "global warming". Oh, well. There were few things better in life than turning the key, and hearing that beast roar to life behind me. I know we're in some kind of global energy crisis now, but I can tell you that a "hybrid" "green" car will never give you the rush that my Silver Anniversary Special Edition did. Stingrays are long gone. The new Corvettes look like every other Japanese import.

I feel sorry for every child in America who will never know the thrill of an unleashed V-8.