Friday, October 28, 2005

Got a smoke?

I have a friend who was a heroin addict for years. He dealt; he used. In the 1970s, he got caught. A plea bargain was arranged, but the judge wasn't interested in rehabilitation. He slammed Gary with 11 years, instead of the agreed-upon 3-with-detox at the Lexington FCI.

Gary took a runner on the feds. He knew that he couldn't be hanging out with drug dealers, so he had to quit the smack. He and his wife checked into a central Florida motel, and he went cold-turkey. Breta brought him damp towels and saltines for three days. He describes it as a massive hangover, not the dramatic Frank Sinatra screaming of "The Man With the Golden Arm." I've had some killer hangovers, and I can guess it wasn't fun, no matter how it lacked in drama.

Gary ran for 20 years, and eventually got nabbed. The judge appreciated his crime-free, sober lifestyle, and only tacked a couple of years for escape onto the original sentence. My friend paid his debt, and is currently a productive member of society. He never went back to the smack.

When he was released from prison, Gary decided that he was enjoying the clean and sober lifestyle to the point where he announced he was going to quit smoking. He proclaimed this to all who know him. I had the good fortune to see him some weeks later.

After "Hello! How are ya?" the next thing my friend asked was "You got a smoke?"

I reached for my pack, ready to shake one out, then hesitated. "I thought you quit."

"I did, but I've gotta tell you...it was easier quitting heroin than it is quitting smoking."

Don't try this at home, kids. We're professionals.

7 Comments:

Blogger Nylecoj said...

I have heard that, it is not exciting to hear it confirmed.

October 28, 2005 1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good to see you writing again, Bob. As for heroin easier to quit than tobacco, I can't say I know anything about either--unless those bastards at Nabisco lace Oreo cookies with heroin.

October 28, 2005 1:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9 weeks now and I haven't choked anyone. Not for lack of the urge though.

October 28, 2005 2:25 PM  
Blogger Beerme said...

Haven't smoked a cigarette in over 25 years. Started chewing Skoal about five years ago and quit for two years. Started up again this past winter (Kodiak, this time). Man, why do I do this to myself?

I will say it was hard to quit but it's hardest to stay quit. Oh, and it's a bit harder to quit chewing than smoking, IMHO.

October 28, 2005 4:08 PM  
Blogger Hawkeye® said...

I know how hard it is to quit smoking, and I know how hard it is to keep from going back. Unlike Mark Twain who said, "It's easy to quit smoking... I've done it a hundred times".

October 28, 2005 7:07 PM  
Blogger camojack said...

Smoking is definitely difficult to quit; I hear it's even harder for women...which is why it's now their number one killer. I'll still bum the occasional smoke when I'm in a bar, though...

October 28, 2005 9:00 PM  
Blogger spd rdr said...

Possumtrot!!!!!
You old hooka-puffing bastard!
Long time no cross.
Let's quit together!
Tuesaday, noon...your place,

October 28, 2005 10:49 PM  

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