Wednesday, June 25, 2008

UFOs and racisim

I have only one question about the Old Testament:

Where is the land of Nod, where Cain went to live after murdering Abel, and the mark was upon him?

I used to confound people with a theorem about Adam and Eve. Using pop culture as a base, I came to the following conclusions:

Adam is generally regarded to have been white. Caucasians are sort of an anomaly on planet Earth. We came from nowhere, apparently, and all of a sudden we are running everything.

How did Adam get zapped here to begin with? The Old Testament is mostly apocryphal; word of mouth from generation to generation. The Bible had an oral heritage before it was writ. There was a vicious race war on a distant planet, and the white people lost. There was no capital punishment. They believed in exile, not punishment. "We can do without you, so you must go." Does this make any kind of sense?

That business about woman created from Adam's rib sounds like cloning. How did Adam get transported here to begin with? The Old Testament is spotty; oral heritage from generation to generation; stories told around the campfire. I live in an age where "psychic investigators" are subjects of TV shows. When a ghost walks up and shakes my hand, I'll say "howdy".

Meanwhile, in spite of encounters with UFOs and spooks, I remain the ultimate skeptic. If it sounds like bullshit to me, it probably is.

How about a race war on a distant planet, and the white people lost? There was no capital punishment, as these were enlightened people? There was, however, exile.

Adam, who allegedly lived to 900+ years, was marooned. Using the technology of the time, he cloned Eve from a DNA body part [the rib]. He was alone, but there was a sense of genetic superiority that kept white people flourishing on a planet inhabited by African mutants and Chinese dilettantes. According to the Book of Genesis, he created a woman out of whole cloth; the dust of the earth. Sounds like a lonely guy with available technology.

The technology faded out with time. The modern spacemen faded to Cro-Magnon cave-dwellers.

Eventually, the white people crawled from the shadows of the Caucasus and began their gradual takeover of the world. We had that genetic technological memory, and in moments of strife, it surfaced to serve us well.

I know some people, and I call them friends in spite of their predilections to wear their bedsheets instead of sleeping in them. I occasionally hear this "Christian Identity" stuff. They were never an international threat, so I get this from my FBI buddies. They like to get started on their "message", I like to do the Adam and Eve rap.

Yeah, we came from another planet, and our mission as white people is what it says in the Bible; we take dominion over every creature, and that includes the mud people we found when they marooned us here.

I have had a lot of fun spouting this back at various racial supremacists. I am white, therefore I am descended from superior racial stock that disembarked flying saucers generations ago.

America is past due for a black president, but Osama Bamalama ain't the man.

I feel awfully wimpy for a white guy.

I was raised on a diet of hatred and revulsion for blacks. I have tried all my life to overcome this, and then the first viable candidate for president is someone totally outside the realm of reality.

Okay, where was the Land of Nod? Who were those people, that they were forbidden from touching the cursed Cain?

I am cursed by God. My life is a ruin of monumental proportions. My children don't speak to me, my ex-wives are out for blood. I have cancer; I am crippled and confined to a wheelchair.

Others have tried to assure me that I am not cursed by God. I know better; no one's life can end as fouled, clumsy, and frustrating as mine without a benevolent, laughing God overseeing every stumble and fall upon the floor as a cosmic joke for my screeched entreaty in the jungle: "Leave me alone!"

God left me alone. That is the curse. I know better now; I seek to reunite. He denies.

I pray for redemption daily.